Spring of 2020 was so odd. It was a very in-between time of my life, lots of changes made, much we were hoping for, much still to come to fruition. We were on our second spring living on a farmette, a couple acres up a quiet lane. We called our new home ‘The Shire.’
Though it was beautiful I looked ahead to the coming months of gardening and weeding and mowing with trepidation. I had grown up on a farm, but my gung ho mother was the one out weeding at all hours, not me. I didn’t understand the care of the land or the time or the patience that was needed. I was off galloping ponies and reading books in the sunshine. Blissful ignorance.
As newlyweds living in the city Chris and I were fined for never weeding the sidewalk in front of our townhouse. We were those people. Really it’s so laughable to think of our initial foray into this beautiful place. Here it was, another spring, another change we were not ready for.
And then - the world stopped. March 2020. We all remember it, don’t we? And somehow amidst the uncertainty and the strangeness and the genuine fear, a sort of quiet emerged inside me. You see, we had time. My husband was home and so was I. We spent long days outside in the cool spring air. I gathered dandelions for dandelion jelly. I went to pick stinging nettles and brewed hot cups of nettle tea to drink at night. We put our hands in the earth and watched the world grow.
It felt a little like we had fallen out of time, through the looking glass, down the well, out somewhere we didn’t quite know where. We lit candles and I made a large Easter roast for our family of two. We sat down with a white tablecloth and flowers from the garden in an overflowing vase and long tapered candlesticks.
I also read fairy tales. I cried reading about The Little Mermaid and her longing for an immortal soul. I read Rip Van Winkle and swore I could hear Henry Hudson’s crewman rumbling their 9 pins in the distance. I read haunting selkie tales and felt the torn longing of the mother selkies, leaving their human children on land to return to the sea.
It was a magic time, you see. Sad and happy all at once.
And that’s when I started a podcast. It was called On Fairy Stories (inspired by Tolkien’s wonderful essay) and gave me a place to wonder aloud about these strange and beautiful tales. I didn’t quite know who I was talking to, sitting with my microphone watching the world stand still. But somewhere along the way, people started listening.
It was then I started wanting to talk about things besides fairy tales - poets like Mary Oliver and Ted Hughes, essayists and theologians like G.K. Chesterton and C.S. Lewis. I wanted to talk about myths and art and music and saints and dreams. So I switched gears and started a new podcast under the same name as my then-blog, Born of Wonder.
Born of Wonder as a concept was inspired by a very specific trip to the Cathedral of Mary our Queen when I was feeling a bit lost about my next steps in life. It was September 3rd, the day after the anniversary of my mother’s death, and I felt a little hollow looking at all that rainbow glass. I looked up the saint of the day - St. Gregory the Great. And the first quote I saw was this:
We make idols of our concepts, but wisdom is born of wonder.
As I looked around me, all that beauty in the half light of dusk, I thought of the winding road that had led me there, to a church. How for all my love of learning, it was beauty and story and songs that had changed my life. Wisdom wasn’t the intellectual exercise I always assumed it was. It was a change of heart, an opening for hope. So ‘Born of Wonder’ came to be.
Next week will be 100 episodes of Born of Wonder the podcast. This is such a milestone for me. And I want to emphasize here that when we talk numbers and such, I am a small, small enterprise relatively speaking. But the emails and letters, the friendships, the gifts of receptivity and encouragement, it has been profound. Surprising and beautiful. Listeners have sent me their beautiful art, their poetry, their books, their words. One listener even sewed me a medieval style tapestry emblazoned with ‘Born of Wonder’ to inspire me as I recorded.
I don’t take these gifts or this trust lightly, and I do not think it has much to do with me. I have carried a prayer of Flannery O’Connor’s close to my heart,
Let me write, Lord, but let it always be Your story I tell.
Born of Wonder, if it has brought any goodness or joy to your life, I am so glad, but you must know what a gift it has been to me. Having the outlet of podcasting has given me the excuse to interview authors, bloggers, new friends, old friends, and fellow parents. It has had me reading mythology out loud during nap time, reciting poetry late at night, returning to myths and stories from childhood I thought I had forgotten.
Born of Wonder has been essentially grounding for me, someone who is often very cynical and sarcastic… It has kept me earnest and hoping and wondering. I am not a natural Anne Shirley. Think more Elizabeth Bennett but with even more eye rolling and skepticism. So, to constantly be on the hunt for beauty, for glimmers of meaning where I thought there was none… This has been no small thing.
It would be remiss of me not to say that none of this recording has been possible without the steadfast encouragement and support of my husband, Chris, who talks through ideas with me, gives me encouraging feedback, and ensures I have the child-free time and space to produce this work.
I am reminded of a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer -
In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the help of others.
I thought I’d make a list here of some of my favorite episodes, if you were inclined to go through the archive.
S2:2 EP11: Living a Good Story
S2:8 Ep17: Is Time Real? Living with ”the Timeless in our Hearts”
S2:10 EP19: Haunted by Sylvia Plath
S2:13 EP22: What Does it Mean to be Human?
S3:3 EP28: We All Want to be Jo March
S3:7 EP32: The Wisdom of Audrey Hepburn
S3:10 EP35:The Sacramental Imagination
S4:10 EP52: Thin Places: Lifting the Veil Between Heaven and Earth
S4:15 EP57: Falling in Love with Words: Nora Ephron and You’ve Got Mail with Rachel Sherlock
S4:24 EP66: Humanity Over Politics: Interview with Julie Walsh
S6:7 EP83: Finding Wonder and Balance with Technology: AI Discussion with Seth Lewis
If you have any ideas for my 100th episode, let me know! I’m game. Maybe if there are any questions you have I could answer them as I reflect on the past few years here of podcasting? Feel free to leave any questions in the comments or email me directly.
Thank you sincerely for listening, for encouraging me and for following along.
It means so much to me.
Cheers x
Katie
Hi, I’m Katie, a writer and podcaster and I believe that literature, art, beauty, theology, and wonder are worth our time and attention. This essay was free for you to read, but took time and research to write - consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support the work I do.
I’m co-leading a trip to Ireland this October 2024 with
!Come wonder at the world with us! It’s going to be pure magic.
What a beautiful tribute to your journey. Congratulations! I think you’re right about how we all receive far, far more than we give. That is something I have pondered frequently. What a gift everything is!
Congratulations on the milestone, Katie! I found your podcast right when it began, in the midst of the COVID lockdown, and I feel like I experienced a very similar journey through that time period: a re-awakening in my soul of wonder at the beauty and meaning of the world. Your podcast was one of the major inspirations for me in that period!