Why is everything so obviously creepy?

A Siren? A half bitten apple? Underlord? X? Really?

I like to make fun of Jonathan Franzen.

I’m not proud of this, okay? But I do.

TIME proclaimed him The Great American Novelist and he seemed to take it to heart, square glasses and literary bearing - writing New Yorker essays self-consciously debating high art v low art, references to Flaubert and all.

There’s his war on cats and his obsessive love of b…