Hi, I’m Katie, a writer and podcaster and I believe that literature, art, beauty, theology, and wonder are worth our time and attention.
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How can an 8 lb. baby feel so heavy? The weight of a newborn on your chest is like nothing else in the world. Only days before, this baby lived in the oblivion of your own body, only known in faceless abstractions, kicks and rolls and hiccups. Now they’re here, and if they are like every other baby, will only sleep for long stretches on you, breath to breath, heart to heart. I’ve written before about how much I adore the newborn phase, even in all it’s hormonal havoc and post-birth emotions and endless feedings and no sleep.
I love the chaos of new life.
I didn’t learn all my lessons when I had my second daughter, but here is one thing I didn’t fight the second time around: the need to stay in bed. (the first time I was very eager to get back to normal and was out taking ill-advised long walks and trying to clean the house and cook dinner and be a regularly functioning human much too soon). Here’s the truth of it, if you have a new baby, you should stay in bed, probably for a month (or longer) if you can swing it.
I’ve written before about the wisdom of 40 days - how “even today, in the Middle East, resting forty days after having a baby is customary in Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt and Palestine. During this period, someone comes to the house or stays with the new mother to take care of the baby, the house and the other children, so that all new mothers have to do is rest. Similarly, in Latin American tradition, cuarentena refers to the first forty days after giving birth. It literally translates to “quarantine,” and it's a time for new mothers to rest, recover, start breastfeeding, and bond with their baby.”
[I am actively telling myself not to go on an unnecessary rant about the lack of support for new mothers in this country right now. -deep breath - another time…]
So anyway, yes, with my second daughter I pretty much stayed in bed. My husband or my mother-in-law took my then 22 month old firstborn on outings to the playground and down to the barn and on long walks. It was strange and even painful to be away from my older daughter, who had been my near constant companion from the moment she was born. But it ended up being an important bonding time for her and my husband and more than that, I was able to gaze and gaze, rest and rest, with my new little baby daughter, a koala-like sleeping weight upon my chest. It was beautiful and needed and full of those surreal moments you can only just remember on the edge of things, filled with light and love and peace.
But here you are in bed, so… What do you do? I’ll be completely honest and tell you I mostly watched TV and movies (and napped). (And the still of Elizabeth Bennet that started this piece is there because I think watching period dramas is pretty much the best thing you can do postpartum). I also watched and rewatched this music video from the movie Mama Mia II and just weeped. I don’t know why but Mama Mia II (which is objectively a terrible movie) makes me absolutely cry, in all the good ways. It’s a ridiculous story, but it’s a story about mothers and daughters and love and it has Abba songs (and Lily James!! And Cher!!), so I guess I’m actually recommending you watch it.
But in any case perhaps your eyes are growing a bit bleary and you’d like to take advantage of this rare bed bound time to pick up a book. I think there are only a few types of books that can really hold our attention postpartum (I made the mistake of reading a lot of parenting books postpartum the first time - don’t read those).
Ideally, these books should be light, but meaningful. They should be highly readable, but not pure fluff. They should make us laugh, but they will also make us cry (as most things tend to during this time period anyway). They should have very minimal violence and nothing to trigger mama bear panic. They should be comforting, satisfying.
So here’s a list of three books that I think can fit the bill. And I should say these reads could also be appropriate for any time in life when you feel in need of a ‘comfort read’ - or maybe when you’re bed bound or house bound for other reasons, with too much on your mind and looking to just rest in a good story or some funny, thought provoking writing. I hope you enjoy.
This bibliophilia edition is coming out on Holy Saturday - the day we remember Christ’s Descent into Hell. I have heard these words, taken from an ancient homily, echo in my ears over and over since I first heard them - (imagine here Christ reaching out his hand to Adam and Eve) - Awake O Sleeper, I did not make you to be prisoners of the Underworld.
These lines have stirred my imagination, captured my heart - I pray and hope to have the ‘courage to rejoice’ at the outstretched hand given to all humanity in the Paschal Mystery.
I wish all of you a very happy and beautiful Easter!