Katie, there are so many excerpts I could snag and re-quote here. This is an absolute gem of an essay. I relate so much to the initial feelings of freedom after quitting a cubicle job — I worked in publishing prior to the birth of my first son — to the recognition that a "brave young girl" may, in time, become a "lackluster mother" (the later books of the "Anne of Green Gables" series do such an interesting job of taking the reader into that world for a dreamer-and-achiever-turned-mother — and I am now very much feeling the need to reread those last couple of books).
As you said, "mothers and grandmothers and friends and aunts and old people and young people are all capable of new starts and heroic stories." My grandmother passed away over the weekend and I just finished writing her obituary. She was a housewife and, after her children grew up, she took up oil painting. While my mother does not necessarily think of my grandmother as an oil painter, I do — because that is what I experienced of her and knew of her. It is a hobby she didn't take up until her 50s and it is one of the first things, if not the first thing, that comes to mind for me when I think about her.
Your essay, and my grandmother's life, reminds me that every last one of us is capable of living better stories — any moment we choose. Happy birthday to you, Katie!
Those are my favorite Anne books - the one (can’t remember which one it is exactly) where Gilbert is worried to death about a case and she assumes he’s admiring his old college beau captures those questions of, “wait, am I old? Is this what it’s like? are we not in love? are we…boring?” so well. And then the relief of finding out that she is loved, but life is stressful and the mending of those awful silly fears that creep in…
I love this Heather! I often think of my own grandmother. She was 80 years old when my sister was born! And to think what an incredible impact she had on our lives and how we only knew her from the age of 80 on. A whole other life as this important figure in our lives. Who knows what awaits us all? There are many new adventures to come.
Oh! And here’s to quitting lucrative jobs! I quit my job where I was getting praise and was about to get promoted when I was 23. Would likely have had considerable financial ease at this point. Wouldn’t change that decision for the entire world!
You articulated so well what I have tried to explain (very poorly) to so many people. One of the weirdest things about getting older (I’m 30-so with you on being young yes but also definitely getting a sense of aging) is that adventure/romantic/heroic stories (movies, books, tv shows, etc) are not made for me anymore with my two kids and mortgage and such. And the stories that are directed at my stage of life tend to me rather...grim (it seems like all the marriages are broken, all the parents/kids hate each other, and the only way to fix any of that is to escape). So I loved your perspective on getting to ‘pass on’ the adventures to your children, to rediscover stories by sharing them and seeing them through fresh eyes.
So true Elise! Adulthood, motherhood, marriage... All these stories are usually quite serious and often very sad. It would be wonderful to see more stories that emphasize the adventure and joy in these stages of life.
“Nothing kills creativity like a cubicle.” My husband and I recently discussed this point. We humans, made in the image of God have a drive to create - like our Creator. Many who work in an office, have a long commute, etc. lose the time and energy to create. Whether it’s realized or not, that has a profound effect on the individual’s life and society as a whole.
Happy Birthday! I'm 57. My children are grown and from this vantage point every moment I spent home raising my kids was worth it. Although there are new responsibilities as you age, there's also so much more freedom for adventure and taking your kids along for the ride. I feel more like Jo (as a young adult) now than I did when I was 19. It's a pity that characters like Anne Shirley become so boring as mothers. I don't feel any connection to that. All the novels I've written are family sagas which has given me the opportunity to write about people of all ages. I just got a letter from a 90 year old cousin I discovered when doing genealogy. We have become fast friends and I travel a few times a year to visit cemeteries with him. It's as if we've known each other forever and it's just as much fun as it was making my first real friend at five.
32 is a great age, but I confess to often having such a disconnect between the “observed” reality of my life (5 kids, grown up things, a lot of life experiences) and still just feeling like me. I still want to know when I’ll feel like a grown up. In the grand scheme of things I am young (32 is young!), but then there are the days I feel much older than I am. Age is weird. I remember reading a book as a child that described how a character felt she was carrying all her ages inside of her and she was all the ages she’d ever been. I think perhaps the trick is learning to let all those ages be part of you without running the show.
Anyway. I’m right there with you. Noticing that aging is going to happen, but also more peaceful with many things.
Oh, you just truly captured what is of importance in life (at least, what I also find important). I also left a job to be home with my kids, the time worked, was not worth the money or time spent, as you said the cubicle really does not waste only your time but your creativity!-- there are other things that matter so much more, and we never know how much time we have. It is all a gift and one that we can easily take for granted as we go about the business of our days!
Wishing you a very happy birthday (++many, many more).
Happiest of birthdays, Katie! 🥳 What a great reflection on heroines once they grow older. I never thought of it that way! It’s as if once we are “grown ups” we lose a sense of adventure - but I really don’t think it should be that way at all! Oftentimes it entails us having to become as little children again, seeing the world through our children’s lives, which is so beautiful and beneficial.
Also lol at Jo’s grey hair comment 😂 Max doesn’t know all his colors yet so thankfully I can escape such comments for the time being 🤣🤣 I’m thinking that the postpartum hair loss is going to be replaced with more and more SILVER as I like to call it. 😉
Katie, I loved this post, and enjoyed reading about the things you’ve learned & experienced. Thank you for sharing it with us, and a happy birthday! 32 is a fantastic age, in my opinion :)
Happy birthday in advance, Katie! I was gripped by the line you wrote about daring young heroines growing up to be staid womanly disappointments (heavily paraphrasing, I know!), because I don’t think I’ve ever thought about grownup Jo and Anne and Lucy (well, the glimpses we get of her) and their ilk, or even the already-adult characters like Marmee or Susan Sowerby or even Marilla Cuthbert, as having humdrum lives. Maybe the scope has changed or narrowed - focussed may be a better word - but the energy and wit and imagination and romantic idealism that were always there (or lay latent until a certain red-haired snippet woke it up) are still very much on display. I’m in my last 6 months before turning 40, with 4 kids and 13 years of mothering and housewife-ing under my belt, and turning to these older women, or girls who were allowed to grow up into full and overflowing expressions of their womanhood (how often does that happen!), using their youthful experiences tempered with the hard-won wisdom of ageing, have helped me to bear my own fears and feelings of loss as I get older as much as their younger iterations inspired me to spread my own wings and soar into the world 30 years ago. I think the subtle contrast Lewis draws between Lucy and Susan Pevensie might be a much more succinct illustration of what I’m getting at, here 😂. God bless you, and thanks for getting me all fired up on a totally ordinary Monday!
Thank you so much for the birthday wishes Holly! I completely agree with you. I don't find the fact that these heroines become mothers dull at all. What I find disappointing is that they simply fade to background characters when this happens. They become stereotypes, losing all their complexity. Jo running her house of boys could be any stately mother. We hardly remember the wild-eyed ambitious young girl of the previous book! Same goes for Anne. I adore Marmee and Marilla and the rest, and there is certainly much to admire in their steadiness and kindness. I just want more complex, fleshed out characters for women at all phases of life, motherhood included!
Yes, I want more of Anne in the last few books! And Jo. I think Marilla and maybe Marmee are actually more fleshed out, but not as well as the younger heroines.
Happy birthday! I share so much of your sentiments although I’m a bit older, in my forties. I keep trying to hold fast to the idea that the Lord gives and takes away, but my natural (sinful) response is usually to hold on to it all with as firm of a grasp as I can.
I think excitement is a beautiful response to the world. It’s just so hard to come by at times.
Katie, there are so many excerpts I could snag and re-quote here. This is an absolute gem of an essay. I relate so much to the initial feelings of freedom after quitting a cubicle job — I worked in publishing prior to the birth of my first son — to the recognition that a "brave young girl" may, in time, become a "lackluster mother" (the later books of the "Anne of Green Gables" series do such an interesting job of taking the reader into that world for a dreamer-and-achiever-turned-mother — and I am now very much feeling the need to reread those last couple of books).
As you said, "mothers and grandmothers and friends and aunts and old people and young people are all capable of new starts and heroic stories." My grandmother passed away over the weekend and I just finished writing her obituary. She was a housewife and, after her children grew up, she took up oil painting. While my mother does not necessarily think of my grandmother as an oil painter, I do — because that is what I experienced of her and knew of her. It is a hobby she didn't take up until her 50s and it is one of the first things, if not the first thing, that comes to mind for me when I think about her.
Your essay, and my grandmother's life, reminds me that every last one of us is capable of living better stories — any moment we choose. Happy birthday to you, Katie!
Those are my favorite Anne books - the one (can’t remember which one it is exactly) where Gilbert is worried to death about a case and she assumes he’s admiring his old college beau captures those questions of, “wait, am I old? Is this what it’s like? are we not in love? are we…boring?” so well. And then the relief of finding out that she is loved, but life is stressful and the mending of those awful silly fears that creep in…
I need to re-read those now!
I love this Heather! I often think of my own grandmother. She was 80 years old when my sister was born! And to think what an incredible impact she had on our lives and how we only knew her from the age of 80 on. A whole other life as this important figure in our lives. Who knows what awaits us all? There are many new adventures to come.
Oh! And here’s to quitting lucrative jobs! I quit my job where I was getting praise and was about to get promoted when I was 23. Would likely have had considerable financial ease at this point. Wouldn’t change that decision for the entire world!
Public radio wasn't exactly a huge moneymaker but it was steady and had benefits! I miss that!
You articulated so well what I have tried to explain (very poorly) to so many people. One of the weirdest things about getting older (I’m 30-so with you on being young yes but also definitely getting a sense of aging) is that adventure/romantic/heroic stories (movies, books, tv shows, etc) are not made for me anymore with my two kids and mortgage and such. And the stories that are directed at my stage of life tend to me rather...grim (it seems like all the marriages are broken, all the parents/kids hate each other, and the only way to fix any of that is to escape). So I loved your perspective on getting to ‘pass on’ the adventures to your children, to rediscover stories by sharing them and seeing them through fresh eyes.
So true Elise! Adulthood, motherhood, marriage... All these stories are usually quite serious and often very sad. It would be wonderful to see more stories that emphasize the adventure and joy in these stages of life.
Exactly!
“Nothing kills creativity like a cubicle.” My husband and I recently discussed this point. We humans, made in the image of God have a drive to create - like our Creator. Many who work in an office, have a long commute, etc. lose the time and energy to create. Whether it’s realized or not, that has a profound effect on the individual’s life and society as a whole.
This is so beautiful - and happy birthday!
Then you Jenni!
Happy Birthday! I'm 57. My children are grown and from this vantage point every moment I spent home raising my kids was worth it. Although there are new responsibilities as you age, there's also so much more freedom for adventure and taking your kids along for the ride. I feel more like Jo (as a young adult) now than I did when I was 19. It's a pity that characters like Anne Shirley become so boring as mothers. I don't feel any connection to that. All the novels I've written are family sagas which has given me the opportunity to write about people of all ages. I just got a letter from a 90 year old cousin I discovered when doing genealogy. We have become fast friends and I travel a few times a year to visit cemeteries with him. It's as if we've known each other forever and it's just as much fun as it was making my first real friend at five.
I love that Adrienne! So true that there are different challenges and different joys to each phase of life.
Happy birthday!
32 is a great age, but I confess to often having such a disconnect between the “observed” reality of my life (5 kids, grown up things, a lot of life experiences) and still just feeling like me. I still want to know when I’ll feel like a grown up. In the grand scheme of things I am young (32 is young!), but then there are the days I feel much older than I am. Age is weird. I remember reading a book as a child that described how a character felt she was carrying all her ages inside of her and she was all the ages she’d ever been. I think perhaps the trick is learning to let all those ages be part of you without running the show.
Anyway. I’m right there with you. Noticing that aging is going to happen, but also more peaceful with many things.
I still look around for the adult in the room! Wait it's me! We're in trouble!
In case I forget on the 30th, happy early birthday! The BSO are amazing. Did you go to Symphony Hall or Tanglewood?
Also, “candlelit Masses”--is this a Rorate Mass, by any chance??
Actually the Baltimore symphony orchestra! So downtown Baltimore 🙂 and yes a Rorate Mass! Highlight of my year. St. Alphonsus does a beautiful one.
I think we are now old enough to consider what “a steady posture of the heart” looks and feels like. 😊
Let's hope! 🙏
Oh, you just truly captured what is of importance in life (at least, what I also find important). I also left a job to be home with my kids, the time worked, was not worth the money or time spent, as you said the cubicle really does not waste only your time but your creativity!-- there are other things that matter so much more, and we never know how much time we have. It is all a gift and one that we can easily take for granted as we go about the business of our days!
Wishing you a very happy birthday (++many, many more).
Thank you Jennifer!
Happiest of birthdays, Katie! 🥳 What a great reflection on heroines once they grow older. I never thought of it that way! It’s as if once we are “grown ups” we lose a sense of adventure - but I really don’t think it should be that way at all! Oftentimes it entails us having to become as little children again, seeing the world through our children’s lives, which is so beautiful and beneficial.
Also lol at Jo’s grey hair comment 😂 Max doesn’t know all his colors yet so thankfully I can escape such comments for the time being 🤣🤣 I’m thinking that the postpartum hair loss is going to be replaced with more and more SILVER as I like to call it. 😉
Thank you Malori! I agree, let's go with Silver 😅
Katie, I loved this post, and enjoyed reading about the things you’ve learned & experienced. Thank you for sharing it with us, and a happy birthday! 32 is a fantastic age, in my opinion :)
Thank you Shannon!
Happy birthday in advance, Katie! I was gripped by the line you wrote about daring young heroines growing up to be staid womanly disappointments (heavily paraphrasing, I know!), because I don’t think I’ve ever thought about grownup Jo and Anne and Lucy (well, the glimpses we get of her) and their ilk, or even the already-adult characters like Marmee or Susan Sowerby or even Marilla Cuthbert, as having humdrum lives. Maybe the scope has changed or narrowed - focussed may be a better word - but the energy and wit and imagination and romantic idealism that were always there (or lay latent until a certain red-haired snippet woke it up) are still very much on display. I’m in my last 6 months before turning 40, with 4 kids and 13 years of mothering and housewife-ing under my belt, and turning to these older women, or girls who were allowed to grow up into full and overflowing expressions of their womanhood (how often does that happen!), using their youthful experiences tempered with the hard-won wisdom of ageing, have helped me to bear my own fears and feelings of loss as I get older as much as their younger iterations inspired me to spread my own wings and soar into the world 30 years ago. I think the subtle contrast Lewis draws between Lucy and Susan Pevensie might be a much more succinct illustration of what I’m getting at, here 😂. God bless you, and thanks for getting me all fired up on a totally ordinary Monday!
Thank you so much for the birthday wishes Holly! I completely agree with you. I don't find the fact that these heroines become mothers dull at all. What I find disappointing is that they simply fade to background characters when this happens. They become stereotypes, losing all their complexity. Jo running her house of boys could be any stately mother. We hardly remember the wild-eyed ambitious young girl of the previous book! Same goes for Anne. I adore Marmee and Marilla and the rest, and there is certainly much to admire in their steadiness and kindness. I just want more complex, fleshed out characters for women at all phases of life, motherhood included!
Yes, I want more of Anne in the last few books! And Jo. I think Marilla and maybe Marmee are actually more fleshed out, but not as well as the younger heroines.
(forgive my on the go talk to text typos!)
Happy birthday! I share so much of your sentiments although I’m a bit older, in my forties. I keep trying to hold fast to the idea that the Lord gives and takes away, but my natural (sinful) response is usually to hold on to it all with as firm of a grasp as I can.
I think excitement is a beautiful response to the world. It’s just so hard to come by at times.
Anyway, happy, happy birthday!