monthly musings vol. 18
risk, wisdom in unlikely places, not buying from Amazon, goat cheese is the best ingredient, Madeleine L'Engle, end of summer bliss, and many links
Hi, I’m Katie, a writer and podcaster and I believe that literature, art, beauty, theology, and wonder are worth our time and attention. Every month I do some ‘musings’ on various topics on my mind… like whether or not it is good to exist or the gift of mornings or conversion anniversaries. I also share some links to thought-provoking writing going on around the web. This edition is free for you to read, but took time and research to write - consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support the work I do.
It’s been a beautiful August. I can’t believe I’m writing that, but it’s true.
August is usually a muggy haze, a time of desperately hoping for cooler weather and hiding inside during heat waves instead. It’s a restless month for me.
But this year, something shifted. As I wrote before, summer just didn’t get me down this year. I drank sangria and got up early and went hiking with my kids. It was fun. And this August an unseasonably cool few weeks reigned supreme. I actually needed a sweater when I did barn chores in the morning. We turned off all AC and left the windows open, day and night.
I spent very little time inside, only for necessary work recordings or meetings. The bulk of daylight hours were spent tolting down lanes on our Icelandic horse, Tango, waving to neighbors across the way, picking wildflowers, playing in the hose, tossing hay, putting kids on and off ponies, toasting at breweries, chasing toddlers, walking dogs, circling the big pond.1 What bliss, what gift.
I hope your August has been similarly serene, and if it hasn’t, that the start of September on the horizon, that ‘new school year energy’ is giving you energy and hope. Instead of ‘musing’ on one particular topic I thought I’d do a little lightning round style list of some exceptionally random things on my mind this month. I’d love to hear your thoughts on any of the below in the comments!
Goat cheese makes literally everything better. Eggs, sandwiches, pizza, salads, chicken. Throw some goat cheese on and tell me I’m wrong.
We live in a very backwards world where hard work, thoughtful introspection, and taking the time to do things right, is rarely rewarded. Virality, superficiality, and speed will often get you money, attention, and accolades. Still. The Longer Road, the Harder Road, is still worth taking. But you have to do it even without the money or the attention or the outward recognition. You have to do it because it’s the right thing to do.
The Olympics just didn’t quite ‘work’ in the era of streaming. I have many childhood memories of watching the Olympics as a kid, often random sports I wouldn’t have encountered otherwise because it was just whatever was ‘on’ that night. So we all tuned in. And we didn’t get the live updates so we actually were in suspense over who won. Let’s be honest, we all just watched the 3 minute replay of Simone Biles’ floor routine long after learning she won Gold. Don’t get me wrong, I think the Olympics is great, but it just lost a lot of its energy and excitement for me.
I actually get a strange amount of satisfaction in budgeting - it’s a challenge! (I don’t often win, but it’s good to try). And I like to see specifically where my money is being spent. For a while I was really good about purposefully not buying from Amazon, even when it was the easiest option. Instead I’d go to the local hardware store to get batteries, the local clothing store for the kids’ shoes. Because you know what, if you want local stores and local culture you have to invest in it. So I feel a lot differently about $20 being spent at Chik Fil A than I do about it being spent at the amazing Mexican Coffee Shop down the road (our post Mass tradition is breakfast burritos and quesadillas). I fell off the anti-Amazon goals this month when I got overwhelmed, but I want to get back to it. It might seem small, these little sacrifices we make, but it matters. It all matters.
Friends are so important. The older I get -the wisened 32 year old says a la Rose in Titanic2- the more grateful I am for my friends. The people I can call, day or night, the people I can grab a spontaneous drink with after bedtime, the people who are just there, who know me, who love me and my family. But also the former co-worker who I can catch up with and network with, the childhood friend I mostly see for big life events every few years, etc. All of it. Friendship is worth investing in and will see you through so many of the tumultuous waves of life.
Farming is hard. So I ordered “Farming for Dummies” and just try not to see the asparagus turned into trees on the way to the barn. Seriously, anyone get into homesteading or crop growing or anything else that requires immense knowledge only acquired through trial-and-error have some sage words of wisdom?
Life can change very, very fast, and in good ways. A couple of months ago there was a pipe dream we had, literally a wildest case scenario situation, that I never could have imagined happening, that is happening, and I still can’t believe this good fortune.3 Yes, we can walk on tiptoes thinking that things can change for the worse but we also underestimate the many amazing surprises life has in store for us.
Maybe the risk is the point. I have an essay brewing about this, but maybe the good story, the joy in life, is actually the risky stuff - the too high fence my 3 year old wants to climb and is so darn proud of when she does - the business opportunity that doesn’t make sense on paper but feels right - the big hedge and near-miss moment out on horseback4 - and so on, and so on. There’s just not much of a story without the risk.
18 month olds are impossible much of the time but also have the biggest belly laughs and the most sincere smiles and I have one of the best. Likewise 3 year olds are so curious and smart and game and funny. I love my kids so much it’s crazy and I actually really like hanging out with them (not just because I have to).
All that being said, being a parent is hyper overstimulating and if you can carve in 20 minute breaks here and there it can make all the difference. Our new favorite tradition for me: during bath time my husband hangs with the kids while I cook dinner and listen to a podcast or music and maybe have a glass of wine and that 30 minutes before the chaos of dinner-bedtime, etc. is the best! It’s a small thing but an important one.5
reading
Madeleine L’Engle
I reread (or read some for the first time) all of the Time Quintet series (minus the best and my favorite, A Wrinkle in Time). Although nothing tops the first in the series, this is a delightful and enchanting world and I was especially charmed by the Murry/O’Keefe families. It makes me think I can have a chaotic, intellectual, joyful family life too (a la Mrs. Murry).6 I also really enjoyed Arm of the Starfish, which focuses on the O’Keefe family and the young scientist who stays with them for the summer, having been thrown into an ethical quagmire that reads like a fun spy novel. Good stuff!
White House by the Sea: A Century of the Kennedys at Hyannis Port by Kate Storey
Like most people, I find the Kennedys rather fascinating and this has been a fun way to get immersed in the family without getting too weighed down by any one member. It focuses on the “Big House” on the Cape, the site of so many famous Kennedy moments and the centerpiece of personal family tragedies and dramas as well. Because it is the Kennedy’s summer home it also is a nice ‘summer read’ as there’s plenty of immersive descriptions of sailing, beach walks, swimming, etc.
listening
The Votive Podcast
I really enjoyed this discussion between
and all about the importance of addressing difficult topics in middle grade novels. Having been so recently immersed in the genre via Madeleine L’Engle I found their discussion of an often underestimated ‘niche’ fascinating and much-needed.This American Life
There’s been quite a few good episodes out recently, but this one I particularly enjoyed. You can do hard things!
The New Yorker Radio Hour
Judi Dench on Bond and Shakespeare
watching
On the Kennedy theme this was a fascinating documentary made about Ethel Kennedy by her daughter,7 Rory Kennedy. Ethel may have been in the background much of the time in a family like the Kennedys, but she is a lively, outspoken, competitive person, the mother of eleven children and overseer of an absolute menagerie of animals (she once picked up kids from school with a seal in the backseat). It was full of family anecdotes and very moving at times.
We’re Woody Allen fans.8 This is a movie from the late 80s that I don’t hear discussed much in his canon. It’s the story of a woman (played by the recently deceased and quite brilliant Gena Rowlands) who rents an apartment to write her book in, only she can hear everything from the therapy sessions happening next door. When she hears the inner thoughts of a young pregnant woman in the therapist’s office it opens up sharp and sad realities about her own life. My only criticism is I wish it had been a bit longer - there were still a lot of themes left to explore.
Okay, another Allen film here. I had somehow never seen this, largely because I tend to ignore most of his later work,9 for better or worse, but this was a ridiculous charming happy movie that had us laughing and grinning ear to ear. Slightly outrageous at times? Yes. Romantic and light-hearted and perfect with popcorn? Yes.
and now onto the links…
Here’s where I share some of the brilliant and thought-provoking writing from around the web. To peruse at your leisure!
We Won't Be Coming Back...Ever? by
- a moving, raw essay on the realities of parenting a son with non-speaking autism.Always here to cheer on a leaving socials post. Leaving Social Media by
Sometimes You Just Need to be the Parent by
- Amen.- . Thank goodness for the library, yes, solidarity!
What happened when I made my sons and their friends go without smartphones from The Sunday Times
- (for any of us who swore we’d move to New York City when we were teenagers)
Unexpected request from Pope Francis: Read novels
“"If we are to believe this diagnosis, the problem for faith today is not primarily that of believing more or believing less with regard to particular doctrines. Rather, it is the inability of so many of our contemporaries to be profoundly moved in the face of God, his creation and other human beings,”
Allyson Felix’s push to have child care at Paris Olympics pays off: ‘A great starting point’
What if a Diamond Isn't Forever? by
- a beautiful meditation on loss, love, and holding it all.
If you missed it…
On the podcast:
Discernment, Creativity in Mothering, and the Still Small Voice: Interview with
Madeleine L'Engle and the Power of Doubt
*Coming up next week: Interview with
of .On Substack:
Rory Gilmore or How I Lied in a Recent Post
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That’s all I’ve got! Here I’ll just end with something to mull over:
You can find pearls of wisdom from people you deeply disagree with.
Case in point: I listened to this interview with Nancy Pelosi and she shared this beautiful quote from a sermon she once heard —
‘When I go to meet my Maker and He asks me, “Where are your Wounds?” And I say, “I have none,” He will pause and say, “Was there nothing worth fighting for?’
I’ve been thinking of that quote a lot and it’s all because I try very hard to listen to perspectives from every angle out there, even from, especially from people I don’t necessarily agree with.10
Was there nothing worth fighting for?
Maybe that’s what I’ll leave on. Because goodness knows, yes I truly believe, “there’s some good in this world and it’s worth fighting for.”11
Cheers, all good things,
x Katie
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and handling tantrums and doing laundry and going to the market and wiping counters and cooking dinner, etc. I should emphasize I am still very much in the season of being constantly covered in cracker crumbs and putting things like “take a shower” on my to do list. But that’s not nearly as fun to write about :)
this big change has also been responsible for much anxiety and angst so even good things have their fair share of difficulties, but they are so worth it!
That being said I have been shocked at how much less bold I am riding since I had kids. It’s almost like my brain switched gears and was like ‘you actually need to stay alive’ - crazy!!
On the theme of small things making the biggest difference - have you ever cleaned out a drawer or a closet or a suitcase that has been sitting in a state of shocking chaos for … years? I’m forever grateful to my much-more-organized-than-me husband who has taken the initiative to get our house in shape. Knowing where things are, having folders for important documents, bills, etc. Even just knowing where the tape is! These small things have made me a radically happier, calmer person.
her 11th child, and the one she was 3 months pregnant with when her husband was assassinated.
caveat I don’t need but for the record - not of his personal life, obv.!
Midnight in Paris is the exception of course!
Tolkien, of course.
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Great musings, like always! I wish I had something smart to add to the conversation, but I'm a little too tired. Instead, I have a (not serious) question. How do you manage dinner time so your little ones don't need another bath after?!? Dinner with our 15 month old is so chaotic that we have it right before bath time.
Also, I really enjoyed your conversation with Kerri Christopher this week and I am so excited for your podcast with Katherine Johnson Martinko next week!
Is anyone going to dispute the goat cheese claim? Not I!! It’s a bit of a unicorn because it can be enjoyed on its own, and both with savoury and sweet foods. *dreamy*