monthly musings vol. 21

winter, magic light, a Thanksgiving deferred (but not denied), fuzzy ponies, and happy kids

Hi, I’m Katie, a writer and podcaster and I believe that literature, art, beauty, theology, and wonder are worth our time and attention. Every month I do some ‘musings’ on various topics on my mind… like whether or not it is good to exist or finding the melody of your life or conversion anniversaries. I also share some links to thought-provoking writing going on around the web. This edition is free for you to read, but took time and research to write - consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support the work I do.

Happy Feast of St. Nicholas! Did you get anything good in your shoes?¹

Have you noticed winter light is magic light? Fairy tale light. Narnia light. The sun close, the nights cold and bracing, who knows what drifts through the veil these dark days before Christmastide? As I write this, an icy wind howls against the window pains. I hunker down deep under the covers and think about the hot tea I’m going to make.

When I wake up early and go down to the barn and watch the trees, silhouetted like loyal soldiers, standing vigil, I think of the weary, waiting world, rejoicing.

I love this time of year. I love the candles and the fires lit and the longing, deep and real, frozen raindrops on pond grass, snow flurries at dawn - light in the darkness- promise - all that comes next.

plus fuzzy ponies… you can’t help smiling.

I’m writing this edition of monthly musings as the first week of December comes to a close but really it’s for the month of November, which maybe tells you a little about how November went. I do not wish pneumonia on anyone, least of all an asthmatic 3 year old. It was a bit of a nightmare and I didn’t escape unscathed. A week later, I’m still congested, and still can’t fully hear out of both ears (don’t tell the clients I’m currently doing audio editing for). It’s a persistent, lingering fog but I can see we’re finally emerging from the shadows of one of our annual ‘holiday sicknesses.’ Indeed, my 3 year old is now happily running around in Christmas tree pajamas putting sleigh bells on her father and demanding pony rides, so all is well, and all shall be well.

And, really, in many ways November was a lovely month. We hosted quite a few out of town visitors which delighted the kids and made me eminently grateful for the years that build and build to that status of ‘old friends.’ Is there any greater comfort? Any sweeter familiarity? When you can say, I knew you when you turned 21 and walked in the Cotswolds and wondered about the world.

Here is my friend Ellen stationed at the pond on my father’s farm where we gathered for a cozy mid-afternoon brew.

And we did get to celebrate Thanksgiving at last this past Tuesday. If I hadn’t bought a turkey from the farm down the road, I may have simply let the holiday slide by, but as it was there was a bird to cook and so we rallied around for a slightly stuffy, but nonetheless delightful, Thanksgiving meal, made all the more cozy by the Advent wreath and Christmas tree lights sparkling in the background. (I did miss being able to cook while sipping a glass of wine. Downing Mucinex and vitamin c gummies just wasn’t the same vibe).

I’ve actually just devoured a giant plate of leftovers and the thought that I could have been deprived of sage butter stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy makes me so grateful for the optimistically purchased turkey, optimistically (stubbornly) thawed when we all were still slightly feverish and out of sorts. This year I kept the turkey moist with butter and broth and stuffed it with onions and sage. It was delicious, and I have to say, quite lovely looking.

With the sun well and truly set by 5pm, we are often doing barn chores in the dark. The solution to keep track of the girls is some glowing necklaces and it makes me laugh looking out the barn doors to see two bobbing blurs in the field. Jo has come up with a creative game of tag - she’s a firefly in this one, and we weave up and down the hillside in the moonlight, breath foggy and raw.

When I walk the dogs in the fields at 4pm and the sun sets brilliantly behind the trees, it does feel quite magic. We watch a fox through binoculars from my Dad’s porch, digging deep into his burrow, diligent and focused. I watch a murder of crows chase off a hawk. She cries out defiantly as she finds a higher branch. I watch a flock of geese take off into the air as we come by the pond - our presence, crunching boots on leaves, dogs sniffing, wagging tails - making our small mark in this landscape. And then a rafter² of wild turkeys leaping toward the woods. If I was a more rugged type, I’d have an even fresher Thanksgiving dinner. Someday, maybe.

So the world spins on toward darker, enchanted days, the hum of Christmas carols, the blur of Advent candles. The world, this year, seems gentle and still to me. And I am grateful for it. Very, very grateful.

Now, before I get too rambly (yes, still on medication here), I’ll turn toward the links and the more eloquent voices around the web —

• Elwood Edwards, Voice of AOL’s ‘You’ve Got Mail!’ Alert, Dies at 74 - raise your hand if you immediately can hear this voice in your head! I’m nostalgic for the robotic sounding but very obviously human voices of old. AI will eradicate these kind of quirky obituaries and it makes me glum.

• I haven’t made it yet, but I want to: Chocolate Guinness Cake.

• I love everything Jen Fulwiler does, but this latest episode was a home run. Be prepared for a great discussion on culture of life, letting loose, and being fully alive.

• This NYT article made a lot of people angry in the comment section - no one owes anyone children! (I agree) - but I think it was a thought provoking look at the relationships that no longer exist when people consciously decide to be ‘child free’ - grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, entire swaths of human relationships no longer exist for many people. It’s worth contemplating what we lose.

• The Cybertruck is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen and

  Ted Gioia
  sums it all up so well.

• This woman is going to be my inspiration for my future turkey hunts.

• Lane Scott
  is writing some on-fire content on the “Mom Olympics” surrounding the holidays. I love her encouraging, no nonsense approach.

• Martin Scorsese is doing a series on Catholic saints and I’m intrigued.

  “I’m hoping that you’re watching something and suddenly you hit a level of beauty that gives you hope for life, and part of that is a better appreciation of what faith could be. It doesn’t mean that life’s going to be any easier, but at least you don’t fall off the edge into the abyss.”

• I don’t know anything about UK laws re. labour/farming, etc. but I know James Rebanks knows what he’s talking about: Labour’s Budget will Destroy Rural Life

• I used to think cycle syncing was for hippies but I totally swear by it.

  All Things Fertility
  sums it up so well here!

• Such an important piece from

  Leah Libresco Sargeant
  profiling a pregnant law school student who was denied any flexibility in taking her final exams. Beyond disappointing. I hope Georgetown (my grad school alma mater) - a supposedly Catholic school - can support mothers and women better in the future.

• Joni Mitchell, cat lady. Delightful. Peruse

  Bailey Richardson
  ’s wonderful Substack,
  Art Dogs
  , so many gems here.

• I don’t follow Ballerina Farm, but I know the gist (and we’ve all read the exhaustive amount of think pieces about her), but really what I want to know is… Why does no one have a problem with the Kardashians (who, yes, are obscenely wealthy) living life in the ways they choose… but a woman making food, raising kids, farming and yes, having money to do it, is… a problem? It’s weird.

Well that’s all I’ve got! I wish you a warm fire, a hot cup of tea, and a good book.

sitting in boxes, admiring the fire, as one does.

I hope you can resist the noise and lean into the gentle spirit of this time of year, when the world gets dark and cold and we need to hold each other a little closer.

Cheers, Happy Advent,

Katie

no one can escape a 22 month old who wants to be generous with her stickers.

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1. All About St. Nicholas

2. had to look up this one, ha.