monthly musings vol. 14

on eccentricity, the Pink Moon, dumb phone/dumb house boom, and other joyful oddities

Hi, I’m Katie, a writer and podcaster and I believe that literature, art, beauty, theology, and wonder are worth our time and attention. Every month I do some ‘musings’ on various topics on my mind… like whether or not it is good to exist or the gift of mornings or conversion anniversaries. I also share some links to thought-provoking writing going on around the web. This edition is free for you to read, but took time and research to write - consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support the work I do.

Recently I had occasion to be in a truly eccentric woman’s office. She wears large goggle-like sunglasses at all hours, indoors and outdoors, and a copious amount of orange eyeshadow. Her office is housed in a ramshackle tumbling old house on a busy road, a remnant from quaint neighborhood days, swing out on the back porch and all. It has the look of a benevolent witch or mischievous fairy’s abode, swooning in bizarre antiques and crystals and bold primary painted walls. None of it is exactly my style, spiritually or aesthetically, but I have to admit to a certain amount of delight. There are so few true eccentrics these days.

When I told my husband about this woman and her strange office and striking style, he immediately said, “you know, that’s probably why she’s so good at what she does.” And it’s true. She’s runs a successful business, the kind that has her names on signs all across the county. Well and why not? Aren’t we all craving a little boldness, a little character, a little kick-up-our-hills joie de vivre? I think we are, and I’ll explain why.

I read about a disturbing phenomenon which is apparently the norm among many teens in school today. As

Katherine Johnson Martinko

of the

The Analog Family

describes:

“having phones in the classroom leads to constant non-consensual filming of students by other students. My teenage son immediately said, “Oh yeah, that’s called ‘getting clipped.’ It happens all the time.’”

I thought back to my own high school days, a time when I’m absolutely thrilled ‘getting clipped’ was not a possibility. I was a normal teenager which means I was often awkward, goofy, obnoxious, and made plenty of mistakes. As we’ve all read by now, Gen Z does less of everything. They drink less, smoke less, have less premarital sex, and so on. Well, what’s so bad about that, you might say? But with all this ‘less’ comes some downsides - they are also the loneliest generation, spending less and less in person time with friends, and essentially opting out of the risky adventurous activities that previously defined adolescence.

I wonder if part of all this has to do with the constant documenting these kids are doing. Of course, they’re documenting their lives themselves but they are also living in fear that one of their peers is documenting them. Can you imagine letting loose at all if you had to worry about someone secretly filming you and it going viral on TikTok?¹ It’s enough to make someone skip the party and stay home.

So not only are they skipping the party, they’re scrolling for hours on what

Jonathan Haidt

termed “the most efficient conformity engines ever invented” - social media! Hey, it wouldn’t be a Born of Wonder post without at least a couple jabs at social media (which, by the way, Substack absolutely is and is becoming ever more so by the day. Did everyone see this alarming announcement about live videos in Notes? Here we go again…)

So here’s this feed designed to make you want a significant amount of dopamine hits, asking you to contribute in the ways you know will get you likes and followers and attention, and make you feel part of the ‘cool’ crowd you follow online. So you have a lot of hipsters looking… exactly like hipsters (plaid and an anachronistic hobby and a craft brew! [hi, I’m the problem, it’s me]). You have activists looking… exactly like activists (black and white photo at a protest holding up a sign with a ‘call to action’ hashtag). You have religious bros looking… exactly like religious bros (beard and a cigar and a rosary). Anyway, I could go on, but you get the gist.

I’m not here to pretend conformity hasn’t always been a thing. I mean, that’s a lot of bowler hats.

State Militia Adjutant Generals, between 1910 and 1917.

But fashion choices aside, don’t you think a bunch of those men had some hobbies that were pretty unique? Maybe a special collection of brass doorknobs or a penchant for french poetry or a love of astronomy or an interest in the history of Yugoslavia or a habit of taking long walks at four am? And maybe everyone was kind of intrigued by those things about them, those little oddball things that made them who they were. And unlike today, you didn’t have to monetize or advertise your interests. So they didn’t have an Instagram or an Etsy shop or a Substack devoted to these interests, to constantly validate that, yes, this was ‘cool’. You just… did things because you liked them. Imagine!

Anyway, back to the eccentric woman in orange. Good for her, that’s all I’ll say. If she can enjoy her odd office and bold colors, why can’t I enjoy my religious icons and my piles of books and my beeswax candles and my afternoon pony walks? And of course, I’m on Substack and I want you to like me and subscribe and share my writing and come to Ireland with me. None of that is disingenuous per-say, but it does complicate things, because we live in a world where not only do people want to sell you things (which is bad enough) but they want to sell you themselves.

I once heard a memoirist say that bad reviews hurt so much more for her than they did for a fiction writer. At least with a novel, even one you’ve poured your heart and soul into, there’s a certain amount of distance. Maybe they didn’t like the characters or the story or the style of writing. But with a memoir, well often it comes down to ‘they didn’t like me.’ And that’s how we all often feel online.

So where I’m going with all this is to say a few things.

1) Don’t share everything of yourself online. Leave some things for your family and your friends, those people who get the special privilege of living life with you², and

2) Don’t be afraid to be a little odd. Maybe someone will come over to your house and raise their eyebrows at the art or think you get way to impassioned about your pet interest or maybe they won’t like your hairstyle or your dramatic makeup or your lack of makeup and… well, who cares? I think we could all do a lot less scrambling for ‘likes’ (and basically becoming forgettable clones) and instead be a little more off-putting to some, and a lot more endearing to others. Either way, you’ll be remembered. Who wants a boring funeral someday? I want some anecdotes in those eulogies!

As my dearly beloved late grandmother, a true eccentric, once told me, “Dear, when God made me he threw away the mold.” Cheers to that.

Now to ground ourselves out of the world of eccentrics and back to the still, still, peace of wild things. As I finished up at the barn the other evening I saw the most stunning sight on the horizon, a rising full moon engulfing the tree line and the fields. I texted Chris that I was going to walk down the driveway to get a better look. He came out to join me, kid monitors’ white noise humming in his pockets, and we walked across the lane, under the canopy of pines, to look out at the fields. The highway roared dully in the distance but soon I barely noticed, the whole night consumed by birdsong and wind. And then in the half evening light - Two foxes, soft Monet-like flutters in the grass, and a small herd of deer padding their way under the glow of April’s Pink Moon.

We watched what seemed a long time but was probably no more than ten minutes. It felt like magic, glowing and real and quiet. I thought how these animals knew nothing of us and we, gratefully (with so few occasions for mystery), knew so little of them. In this gap, we found rest, oblivion, a moment of calm. I braved breaking the spell to capture a few photos, something I don’t regret for once, though it can only be (as I realized long ago) a faint reminder, and not an accurate portrait, of the beauty of the moment. Here in the bursting, blooming Spring, we have received so many gifts. How could I distill them all? Impossible. Again, gratefully so.

So the Pink Moon was it for me, though more than enough. No totality here, though the girls and I watched the world get hazy and dark and windy on ‘Eclipse Day.’ We took photos with my polaroid³ and my 15 month old banged on the windows with abandon. I was quite convinced she was some sort of cosmic baby, in tune with the changing moon and colliding sun. Alas, she has banged on the windows nearly every day since, Spring weather having introduced her to the delights of the outdoor world. “TREEEEES!” she yells, angrily pointing toward the door, grabbing her baseball cap and reaching her chubby arms out to be picked up (she sure is taking her sweet time learning to walk) - ‘take me out there now’ she communicates in no uncertain terms. It’s an absurdly exhausting and irritating age, but who can say no to cherubic toddler cheeks?

Meanwhile my three year old has discovered the delights of chores. As her recently discovered favorite nanny intones, ‘In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. Find the fun and -snap- the job’s a game!’ Well, to a take-charge kid, every job is a game. After cleaning out the car she asked if we could mess it up again. Cleaning was just so fun. Let’s hope she stays this joyfully industrious because farm life is busy and I have a habit of preferring books to necessary tasks.

But enough from me. To sum up, be eccentric and get outside.

Now the links…

break for flowers.

• If a Millennial Is Born and No One Records It on Their Phone, Do They Really Exist? from

  Samuel D. James
  (It’s about Kate but it’s really about all of us)

• Let's talk about stress, baby (Part 1) - such a great series from

  Annelise Roberts
  . Stress absolutely wrecked my hormones for years and it took me a long time (and a Napro doctor) to understand the consequences. Really worth the read!

• In Celebration of Her from

  Matthew Long
  - a lovely meditation and ode to the women in this author’s life

• Screens Are Everywhere in Schools. Do They Actually Help Kids Learn? from NYT. New York Times is always about 6 months behind conversations that have been happening on Substack, but they get there eventually.

• A Guide to Booklegging: How (and why) to collect, preserve, and read the printed word from the always well-researched

  Ruth Gaskovski
  and
  Peco

• The Problem With Saying ‘Sex Assigned at Birth’ from NYT

  “A more radical proponent of “assigned sex” will object that the very idea of sex as a biological fact is suspect. […] This position tacitly assumes that humans are exempt from the natural order. If only! Alas, we are animals. Sexed organisms were present on Earth at least a billion years ago, and males and females would have been around even if humans had never evolved. Sex is not in any sense the result of linguistic ceremonies in the delivery room or other cultural practices. […] A baby abandoned at birth may not have been assigned male or female by anyone, yet the baby still has a sex. Despite the confusion sown by some scholars, we can be confident that the sex binary is not a human invention.”

• Adult baptisms ‘boom’ in France and Belgium from

  The Pillar

  “In a society where 80% of young people have received no religious education, these young ‘called ones’ have few preconceived ideas about the Church, but they are thirsty for formation, reference points, fraternity, and roots.” 

• Happy 20th Anniversary, Gmail. I’m Sorry I’m Leaving You. from NYT

  “I have thousands of photos of my children but few that I’ve set aside to revisit. I have records of virtually every text I’ve sent since I was in college but no idea how to find the ones that meant something. I spent years blasting my thoughts to millions of people on X and Facebook even as I fell behind on correspondence with dear friends. I have stored everything and saved nothing.”

• The Feminist Argument Against Hormonal Birth Control from

  Natasha VC
  - I’m always here for some ‘non-religious’ voices in this arena.

  “As long as women who embrace ‘liberal values’ stay silent because they’re terrified to hold any opinion that overlaps with ‘right-wing commenters’ then […] Ben Shapiro will continue to be the loudest voice in a conversation about OVULATION. Ok, so, let me give you a ‘feminist’ reframe.”

• Yes, Social Media Really Is a Cause of the Epidemic of Teenage Mental Illness from

  After Babel
  (if you still had doubts)

• The Dumbphone Boom Is Real from The New Yorker

• The Dawn of the Dumb House from Town and Country (We have no ‘smart lights’ or Alexa or Google Home, etc., and we recently got rid of our TV, so I guess we’re trendy now! It all comes around.)

• Is Mary Oliver a good poet? by

  Henry Oliver
  (yes)

• A Defense of Rural Dwellers by

  Katherine Johnson Martinko

  “People generally do not flee from the country to the city when searching for meaning; that’s where you go in pursuit of wealth, power, status, glamour. Instead, meaning is sought in the opposite direction, away from the noise and busyness and distraction of crowds. Historically, solitude and nature have always been portrayed as helpful conditions for enlightenment. So, why do we bash those who choose it as the backdrop for their life?”

• Save the Shop Around the Corner! from

  Claire Swinarski
  (A You’ve Got Mail ode and practical tips to help independent bookstores? Yes please!)

In case you missed it, I’ve been talking a lot about Taylor Swift, both here on Substack and on the podcast. (what do you think of TTPD? Tell me!) And stay tuned for the podcast next week when I’ll be airing an interview I did with the lovely

Kristin Haakenson

all about celebrating the liturgical year and staying grounded, in our bodies, our homes, and our faith.

In honor of embracing a joyfully eccentric life, I’ll end with one of my favorite Flannery O’Connor quotes -

“You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.”

x

Katie

And while I have you here…

Come to Ireland with me and

Christy Isinger

in October 2024! Our Lady of Knock, , sheepherding demonstrations, traditional music, High Tea at a castle, St. Patrick’s Holy Mountain, the Rock of Cashel, ancient monasteries, a literary pub crawl… and most importantly, kindred spirits ready to pray, wonder, laugh, and learn together. Let’s buck the trend and do some real-world non-online life adventuring together.

PS - If you’d be interested in a Zoom Live chat to answer some questions or just chat more about the pilgrimage, can you send me an email and let me know?

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Contact me anytime at: marquettekatie@gmail.com

1. I mean I guess this could happen to us adults too… I just presume a certain amount of etiquette here which is probably naive!

2. And if you’re of the “oh, I sign on but I never post anything”contingent don’t think you’re immune (I went through phases like that). You may be surprised at how the scrolling can still affect your real-world behavior and decision-making.

3. Hipster, I told you.