My friend and I were talking about how badly we want to preserve this ability for our children to be “weird” for as long as possible. Of course I want them to have social skills and be able to interact with people, but I want them to be blissfully absorbed in their latest interest, without having to worry that they’ll be made fun of by their peers. I think back to some of the more eccentric kids I knew in high school — and honestly, as a girl who spent lunch hour practicing concertos in the orchestra room I may resemble that remark — and they’re generally interesting adults with full lives. But my husband and I were even having this conversation last night, that I can’t measure what we’re doing based on other people, because “normal” really is just a setting on the dryer.
Thanks for including the stress article! There’s a Part 2 as well (and the first 2/3 is above the paywall):
Haha! I often have similar thoughts about just trying to let my kids be as weird for as long as possible, because the whole world is starting to tell them what they can and can't be at such a young age. And since I encourage oddness in my kids it's pretty annoying when I catch myself being insecure about my own weirdness now...isn't it?
Good morning Katie~I've seen your name on and around the 'Stack and had to come over to read for myself. Such great comments here and a wonderful wrap up. Also, if I may, you may be interested on the leaving social media front in a podcast called Writing off Social.... great stuff there!
Also, my (irl) friend Kristin's interview is on your podcast next week--looking forward to that!
P.S. the photos are lovely, esp. the double daffodils!
Glad you found your way here Jody! I'll have to look into that podcast. And I can't wait to share the wonderful interview with Kristin! (stay tuned tomorrow!)
Thanks for sounding the alarm on the Instagram-ification of Substack. The entire comment section for that article looks none too happy. Hoping nobody uses the video feature and it fades into oblivion. I guess we’ll see, right?
So much to ponder and so many links to follow! And boo to videos coming to Substack. I don't even like the notes feature and wish I could turn it off. I came here for the long form reading.
Ha, that NYT article headline makes me want to laugh (or cry). It’s bewildering to me how so many people don’t see that screens inhibit learning. My sister taught middle school math from 2010-2020, and despite the administration pushing teachers to use the laptops that the school “had spent so much money on!”, she flat out refused. She had her students use paper and pencil and I was absolutely cheering her on. It doesn’t take a degree or much imagination to understand that screens are the *enemy* of true education. [rant over]
Katie, I really enjoyed reading this. You have a real talent for words. Thank you for the generous inclusion of my article among your links this month. That article was a special one for me so I am proud to see it make its way out into the wider world. I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future. All the best.
Excellent post as ever! I got the heebie jeebies just thinking about more smart phones/filming/cameras in my adolescence than there already were…made me feel a huge wave of compassion for the kids I taught when I was still in the classroom. Also loved the focus on cultivating eccentricities and having hobbies WITHOUT monetizing or selling them-that pressure can really take the joy of of hobbies if you let it-as if they aren’t valid unless they exist in the commercial/social media sphere. So thanks for the reminders and the good advice to not give everything to online as a Substack writer-it’s a fine balance!
As I’ve been thinking about the idea of conformity/eccentricity more, I think that despite a veneer or a “mask” of sameness, underneath, we all *truly* are so very unique/interesting/eccentric. Perhaps some people have tried to squash the things that make them uniquely themselves/different from everyone, but the eccentricity is there, even if deeply buried.
Totally true, Shannon. I think everyone is wonderfully unique and pretty 'weird' (in the best way) - I just hope we feel a little more free to lean into those things and celebrate them. As CS Lewis said, God didn't create everyone the same for a reason - who wants an orchestra with just a brass section? We need all the instruments to have beautiful music.
Oh I've got some Taylor Swift thoughts and most of them begin with the idea that this woman is really immature and although I will defend her talents of a pop song writer until the cows come home she should not be called a poet. But I don't want to state that publicly anywhere. For the record.
I want Taylor to get married and have some kids because I think her most profound songs have been at really pivotal times in her life - like when she sang about her Mom's cancer, etc - and I really think she could go deep with motherhood and real commitment... But another break up album... Well, you know. But I will say that I think listening through TTPD as an album more about fame than about a breakup it adds a lot of depth and becomes v interesting.
My friend and I were talking about how badly we want to preserve this ability for our children to be “weird” for as long as possible. Of course I want them to have social skills and be able to interact with people, but I want them to be blissfully absorbed in their latest interest, without having to worry that they’ll be made fun of by their peers. I think back to some of the more eccentric kids I knew in high school — and honestly, as a girl who spent lunch hour practicing concertos in the orchestra room I may resemble that remark — and they’re generally interesting adults with full lives. But my husband and I were even having this conversation last night, that I can’t measure what we’re doing based on other people, because “normal” really is just a setting on the dryer.
Thanks for including the stress article! There’s a Part 2 as well (and the first 2/3 is above the paywall):
https://theeverythingfreelife.substack.com/p/lets-talk-about-stress-baby-part
Haha! I often have similar thoughts about just trying to let my kids be as weird for as long as possible, because the whole world is starting to tell them what they can and can't be at such a young age. And since I encourage oddness in my kids it's pretty annoying when I catch myself being insecure about my own weirdness now...isn't it?
Good morning Katie~I've seen your name on and around the 'Stack and had to come over to read for myself. Such great comments here and a wonderful wrap up. Also, if I may, you may be interested on the leaving social media front in a podcast called Writing off Social.... great stuff there!
Also, my (irl) friend Kristin's interview is on your podcast next week--looking forward to that!
P.S. the photos are lovely, esp. the double daffodils!
Glad you found your way here Jody! I'll have to look into that podcast. And I can't wait to share the wonderful interview with Kristin! (stay tuned tomorrow!)
That hormonal birth control article. I will never cease loving those types of rants, because it's one of my favorite kinds.
Thanks for sounding the alarm on the Instagram-ification of Substack. The entire comment section for that article looks none too happy. Hoping nobody uses the video feature and it fades into oblivion. I guess we’ll see, right?
I'm hoping!!!
So much to ponder and so many links to follow! And boo to videos coming to Substack. I don't even like the notes feature and wish I could turn it off. I came here for the long form reading.
Couldn't agree more Maryann.
Ha, that NYT article headline makes me want to laugh (or cry). It’s bewildering to me how so many people don’t see that screens inhibit learning. My sister taught middle school math from 2010-2020, and despite the administration pushing teachers to use the laptops that the school “had spent so much money on!”, she flat out refused. She had her students use paper and pencil and I was absolutely cheering her on. It doesn’t take a degree or much imagination to understand that screens are the *enemy* of true education. [rant over]
Completely agree, Shannon. It's just common sense!
Katie, I really enjoyed reading this. You have a real talent for words. Thank you for the generous inclusion of my article among your links this month. That article was a special one for me so I am proud to see it make its way out into the wider world. I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future. All the best.
Thank you so much Matthew - I so enjoyed your article and look forward to reading more of your writing!
Katie, I loved this! Made me laugh and reflect - you are spot on. Thanks also for the excellent links (and the mention:).
I can't wait for the interview with Kristin!!
Can't wait to share it! (tomorrow!)
Great article and thank for linking so many other great ones! Glad I’m not the only one who is considered “odd!”
Excellent post as ever! I got the heebie jeebies just thinking about more smart phones/filming/cameras in my adolescence than there already were…made me feel a huge wave of compassion for the kids I taught when I was still in the classroom. Also loved the focus on cultivating eccentricities and having hobbies WITHOUT monetizing or selling them-that pressure can really take the joy of of hobbies if you let it-as if they aren’t valid unless they exist in the commercial/social media sphere. So thanks for the reminders and the good advice to not give everything to online as a Substack writer-it’s a fine balance!
It is a hard balance, Elise! But I think just being aware of it can helpful. And then we just do our best, changing boundaries as we need.
As I’ve been thinking about the idea of conformity/eccentricity more, I think that despite a veneer or a “mask” of sameness, underneath, we all *truly* are so very unique/interesting/eccentric. Perhaps some people have tried to squash the things that make them uniquely themselves/different from everyone, but the eccentricity is there, even if deeply buried.
Totally true, Shannon. I think everyone is wonderfully unique and pretty 'weird' (in the best way) - I just hope we feel a little more free to lean into those things and celebrate them. As CS Lewis said, God didn't create everyone the same for a reason - who wants an orchestra with just a brass section? We need all the instruments to have beautiful music.
Oh I've got some Taylor Swift thoughts and most of them begin with the idea that this woman is really immature and although I will defend her talents of a pop song writer until the cows come home she should not be called a poet. But I don't want to state that publicly anywhere. For the record.
I am here for the Taylor Swift snark xD I hear you. When I read this article about Harvard students taking an entire course on TS (https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/19/style/taylor-swift-harvard-class-tortured-poets.html) even I lost it a bit. Just... no.
I want Taylor to get married and have some kids because I think her most profound songs have been at really pivotal times in her life - like when she sang about her Mom's cancer, etc - and I really think she could go deep with motherhood and real commitment... But another break up album... Well, you know. But I will say that I think listening through TTPD as an album more about fame than about a breakup it adds a lot of depth and becomes v interesting.
I wonder if her popularity is just a reflection of the (im)maturity of our society.
(secretly... same)